A float

and suddenly there he was, sitting there next to me. He was so perfectly imperfect, and like all of the love songs and stories; everything else was hazy. I was frozen for a little moment, and some familiar words came into my mind. "what could be better?". He was all I could see. Feelings came in that I am both ecstatic and terrified to sit in. To love is to loose. We loose part of the control we as humans fight so hard to protect. I had been searching for a friend for so long. A kindred spirit to stand next to. I had found something like that once before. A person who could see my broken parts, and still tolerate me enough to hold my hand. I feel so perfect with him. My flaws are enjoyed. I am effortless with him, and he with me.
I have gone one step too far. Ventured into the rabbit hole. I am indeed stupid because I'm allowing a new pain in. A storm is waiting for me and i go willingly. I guess this what it means to love and to risk. I firmly believe that in life the only way out is through. What lies on the other side of pain is strength. What lies on the other side of risk is new bravery. My early twenties so far has felt like standing on a diving board. If you look down it all looks so overwhelming and dangerous. You stand over the edge thinking, "there is no way in hell, it is too far to fall." In that moment you have two choices. You can choose to slowly creep away and climb off the diving board, You will reach the safety of the ground, and secretly wonder what you missed. Or you could jump and trust that you will know how to keep yourself a float. To jump is to fall, and all of my falls have been the most remarkable parts of my life.